he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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