i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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