you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
