Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
