We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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