This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
