I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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