And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
