4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
