question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
