it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
