i just google imaged poop.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
