ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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