I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
