Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
