Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
