I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
