a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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