he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
