he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
