giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
