I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
