as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
