i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
