Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
