I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
