last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
