literally had 100 drinks last night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
