Having a random hookup so left but love u
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
