i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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