I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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