Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
