Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
