Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
