A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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