I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
