am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
