I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
