thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize