hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
