i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
