I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
