we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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