Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
