i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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