And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
