sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
