3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
