Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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