i think my tv is drunk
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
